for sofia · ward 9

thinking of you,
in more than
three words.

the thing i keep thinking about

the lake. the pedalo. october, far too cold to be on a lake, which was entirely your idea and entirely my fault for agreeing.

we got about forty metres out before the left pedal sheared clean off. so we did a slow, dignified circle for the better part of an hour while you waved at the man on the shore like the queen, insisting it was “part of the experience.” he did not wave back. he had gone for his lunch.

you laughed so hard you cried, and then i cried, and then a duck investigated us with open contempt. we paddled back with one pedal and four hands and absolutely no plan. it remains, somehow, one of the best afternoons of my life.

you are very good at making a sinking boat feel like an adventure. hold that thought.

the plan for afterwards

booked. waiting. non-refundable, because i’m not letting you off. tap a ticket.

a few voice notes

press play. i’ve written them out underneath, so you can read them with the sound off, which i know you’ll do anyway.

from me · 0:14

from the kids · 0:08

from the dog · somehow

while i have you

you remember the small things. the name of the cafe, the date of the thing i was dreading, which way i take my tea when i’m sad versus when i’m fine.

you are kind in the unglamorous ways — the lift offered before it’s needed, the text that just says “how did it go.” no audience. no fuss.

and you are, against all medical and pedalo-related evidence, the most stubborn person i know. which is exactly what i’m counting on right now.

no rush · just true

get well at your own
ridiculous pace.
the lake will wait.

i’ll be on the shore. waving properly this time.
— with all my love, j x

for sofia

tap to set it sailing

thinking of you,in more thanthree words.

the plan for afterwards

a few voice notes

thinking of you,
in more than
three words.